I could have mohawked her pubes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
