i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
