Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
