Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
