Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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