I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
