i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
