then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
