I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
