The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
