just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
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Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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