shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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