You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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