I wish I could teleport
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
