Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
