I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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