I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
