I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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