ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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