It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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