She announced her abortion via fbk
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
