Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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