I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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