And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
