so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
