Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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