just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I am one with the molecules
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
