I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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