oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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