so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Let's paint friendship bongs
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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