i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
