He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
