NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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