the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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