We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
