i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have fence marks all over my body
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
