you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize