I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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