dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
