you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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