dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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