All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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