obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Randomize
