If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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