So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
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Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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