The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
