After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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