So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
