New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
