Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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