I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
