I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
