Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
