I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
