Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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