Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
