The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
