At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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