I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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