She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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