i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
